Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Apparently Girls Shouldn't Say No

So the Kanesville Elementary School in Utah thought it was an awesome idea to make a rule for their 6th grade dance saying that if someone asks you to dance with them, you have to say yes.

Because teaching kids that if a boy makes a romantic offer, a girl has to say yes is such a good idea. For both the boys and the girls -- teaching girls that they have to say yes, and teaching boys that girls can't say no. Yeah, that's not going to cause any problems in the future. [headdesk]

A number of parents objected, because they have functional brains, and the school is backpedalling. But I'd really like to know what rock the school authorities -- whoever it was who came up with this -- have been living under for the last year. Or actually, the last few decades.

They framed the original policy in terms of being kind to one another, and okay, I can get behind that. But surely it's much better to teach kids how to say "No thank you" kindly, without making the person who asked you feel bad. That also gives the asker practice in accepting a "No thank you" with civility, rather than turning agressive out of humiliation or anger. Yes, being turned down hurts (ask any writer [cough]) but learning to handle a rejection without melting down is part of becoming a functional adult.

At least this got nipped in the bud, but if my kid went to this school, I'd be doubly vigilant to make sure they didn't make similarly horrible decisions in the future. Best of luck to the kids.



Charles Gramlich said...

Yes, perhaps some lessons in kindness, as in how to turn a request down politely.

Angie said...

Charles -- exactly. There are ways to accomplish their stated goal without teaching kids that girls can't say no, or that they're rude if they do. [sigh]


Suzan Harden said...

* Picard/Riker double facepalm*

Angie said...

Suzan -- exactly. :P