I just have to share this. :) Thanks to Zoe Nichols on LJ for linking.
Provenance: this was originally posted to Craigslist in Lansing, MI. Some people didn't like it, for no specific reason, and flagged it for removal; it's gone now, and I don't know who originally wrote it. Truth Wins Out reposted it in its entirety, because it's just that awesome and needs to be preserved and shared. I agree.
Read it and laugh.