Monday, August 31, 2009

Atheists Form Pet Rescue Group

All right, this is just awesome. :D

Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, USA is a group formed of atheists who'll still be around when all the saved Christians are taken up in the Rapture. Christians who think they might be among the elect can contract with this group to come and rescue their pets left behind after the event.

Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable.
For $110.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $15.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged friends.

This just breeds story ideas, at least for me, so I thought I'd throw it out there for everyone. Besides, it's just cool -- the obvious intersection between diametrically opposed belief systems meshes wonderfully.

And heck, Jim and I are both atheists; if we had a car and could make a binding promise to go pick up animals post-rapture, we'd definitely join the group. No reason puppies should suffer just because their owners went to Heaven, right?

Angie, still grinning


Charles Gramlich said...

I must admit, it's witty! Sort of along the lines of, In case of rapture, can I have your car"

Angie said...

Charles -- LOL! I hadn't thought of that, but yeah, why not?

I think one of the things I love about this set-up is that, assuming everyone involved is sincere, each side obviously has to believe they're scamming the other, and yet everyone's happy and satisfied with the situation. It balances perfectly. :)


laughingwolf said...

brilliant, both your post and charles' quip! :)

Angie said...

LW -- thanks, glad you got a grin out of it. :D


Jessica Freely said...

This is hysterical!

Angie said...

Anne -- isn't it? :D


Shauna Roberts said...

Hilarious! What will people think of next?

My immediate thought, though, was that most dogs belong in heaven and, without divine grace, pretty few humans. In any rapture, I expect to see pets floating off, not Christians.

Angie said...

Shauna -- I agree. :) Unfortunately that's not how evangelical Christian doctrine reads, so their pets are going to need care after they're gone. Or anyway, they think so. [wry smile]


Stewart Sternberg said...

I LOVE THIS!!!!! What a tremendous opportunity. Why stop at pet sitting. Why not continue with tending to people's gardens...lot's of folks put tremendous work into their roses. Why let them go to seed, so to speak. And then there are those who might want some sort of security service for family members who might not have gone up with the saved ones. You know. Maybe we need to go and make sure Uncle Joe is okay, or that Aunt Janie isn't being carried off by the zombies.

writtenwyrdd said...

Hilarious! I am refreshed by the cynicism put to great use here. Thanks for sharing.

Angie said...

Stewart -- there you go, End Times Entrepreneurs! :D

WW -- exactly. [nod] I love how the cynicism and the faith mesh perfectly to suit each other's needs. :)